I wrote this in October 2017 as a first response to the #Metoo status:
1. I put my own #Metoo status on my Facebook page. I didn’t spell out the details of the sexual assault I experienced when I was aged 18 or details of the other countless times I have experienced more ‘minor’ incidences of sexual violence and harassment. Indeed, that I have labelled more everyday sexual violence and harassment as ‘minor’ is part of what the #Metoo campaign has highlighted through naming and recognising how sexual violence has become so normalised it has previously been not been felt to be worthy of comment. If writing #Metoo statuses on social media has made women feel slightly more in control, to feel we are not just victims, that we are not on our own, that this is not an individualised problem, or to do with our own perceived failings, then it has been worth it. This is not about victimhood but about agency. It is about asserting a message that violence against women is widespread, is normalised and is not acceptable. This is not in any way to say that those who have experienced sexual violence should post about it. Some women will feel too traumatised by their experiences; will not want to risk reliving those experiences; may not have told friends and family; and may just want everyone else to mind their own business. So it is brilliant that women are speaking out, but the onus should not be on women to speak out; it is not our “duty” or responsibility to raise the issue; it’s men’s duty to recognise their abusive behaviour and to do something about it.
2. What about sexual violence against men? I’ve seen this argument on some friends’ posts. Sexual assault against men and boys is a reality and should be condemned just as vociferously as violence against women. But let’s also have a sense of perspective here. The majority of sexual violence is committed against women and girls (cis, non-binary and trans) and is perpetrated by men. Highlighting why such violence against women is a problem of such enormity, and why it so often takes the form of sexual violence, is not to deny the abuse and rape of men – it is to begin to grasp and ask questions about the ways in which sexual violence is gendered, and how and why sexual violence against women is so prevalent, why it is mainly committed by men against women. It’s good if men speak out against sexual violence perpetrated against them, but I do worry that in the current context – of so many women, some for the first time, openly admitting they are survivors of sexual harassment and violence – that insisting ‘it’s not only women’ can feel like it’s trying to silence the voices of women (silent for too long) speaking out against the widespread and normalised everyday sexual violence that pervades our lives.
3. Do I think that such a social media campaign will change anything? Well perhaps not much in the bigger run of things. Violence against women isn’t an individual problem of a few badly behaved men. It is a systemic problem, which is central to, and structured into, the whole way capitalist society and its gendered order is organised. Violence against women is not an aberration, nor is it just a reflection of an unequal society – it is central tenet of the way the patriarchal capitalist system works, and sexual violence itself works to create and perpetuate further gendered inequalities and sexual injustice, and is enmeshed in structures of class and race and power that run throughout society. Violence against women is not only committed by rich, powerful men but also by poor and working class men. Moreover, sexual violence and its repercussions are embedded in our lives, livelihoods, bodies and emotions. So no, a Facebook or Twitter post won’t do anything much by itself. But if it makes one woman feel less alone; less victimised; feel she has more of a voice and more agency, and if more people start discussing sexual violence more openly, if it helps to break some of the silences, then it not only has been worth it but perhaps could be the small beginnings of a more powerful movement for wider systemic and structural change.